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 Post subject: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 16th, 2009, 3:50 pm 
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The Sunny Stormcloud
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This is my story based off the game Zelda Ocarina of Time. I've been working on it for awhile, its not finished, not by far, but i could use some feedback so lemme know what ya think.
backed by suggestions of my peers, here's the prolog to start off with :)

Prolog

Tap tap tap tap tap…the sound of footsteps echoed down the vast hall of the palace as a father paced back and forth in front of his wife’s room where she would soon give birth to his child.
Tap tap tap tap tap…back and forth he went pausing a few seconds in front of the big oak door trying to decide whether to go in or not only to return to pacing nervously.
Tap tap tap tap tap…pause…tap tap tap tap tap…pause…tap tap tap tap tap…and so on into the dawn. Then at dawn with the sun peaking through the vast window he heard a baby’s cry, and ran through the door. He startled the midwife who looked at him with a huge smile on her face. “Good news your majesty, you have a son.” She said as she handed a small bundle into his shaking arms. He folded the cloth back and met the sapphire eyes of his firstborn son. His wife groaned he looked up to see her on her bed. The midwife shooed him out of the door again as his wife began giving birth to his son’s twin. Now outside the door he sat instead of paced and cooed to his son. He became so absorbed with his son that he didn’t hear the midwife call for him to come back in till she stuck her head out of the door. He came back in to see his wife holding another small bundle. He walked over to his wife and sat next to her on the bed. She pulled back the fold and he met the emerald eyes of his daughter. His wife looked into his brown eyes and said, “Oh Link, look how beautiful they are.” Link smiled at his wife.
“Yes Zelda, they are beautiful. What shall we name them?”
“Gerad and Selene.”


Dawn ten years later…tap tap tap the footsteps echoed down the hallway getting closer and closer. Gerad and Selene cramped back into the corner further, being as quiet as possible. The footsteps came closer still. Gerad held Selene’s hand as the footsteps stopped just around the corner. Selene pressed into Gerad. Then their pursuer rounded the corner and shouted, “Ah-Ha there you are.” They shrieked and ran for it. “Run Selene run!” Gerad yelled to her back as she dashed in front of him. “Hey don’t leave me!” Gerad shouted as they rounded a corner and dashed down the hall with their pursuer right behind them. They rounded another corner and ducked into the next hallway. They ran for what seemed like hours but their pursuer was still right behind them. Selene tripped and slid across the floor. Gerad kept running not realizing that his sister wasn’t behind him, he slowed and glanced behind him and saw her on the floor. He dashed back and got her up just as their pursuer dashed around the corner saying, “You can’t run forever, I’ll get you soon my moppets.” They scrambled away from him and kept running and dashing down side hallways until they came to two big doors. They pulled on them to get them open, but they wouldn’t budge. They tried to find a way to escape but they were trapped against the doors. Their pursuer slowly came around the entrance way and walked slowly towards them. “I have you now.” They huddled against the doors Gerad interposing himself between their pursuer and his sister. Then the big doors opened inward and they dashed backward to their mother’s lap where she sat on her throne, shrieking at the top of their lungs, “Mommy he’s going to get us.” Their mother laughed and held them close as their father came up behind them. “Well I can’t get you now. I’ll have to wait till later.” Link said as he kissed his wife and sat next to her on an identical throne. Selene giggled and hopped down from her mother’s lap and climbed into her fathers. She gave him a big kiss and curled up into his arms. Gerad was still panting from the thirty seconds of running. “So tell me what were you playing this time children?” Zelda asked looking pointedly at Link. Selene answered, “We were playing that the castle was under attack and Gerad and I were the only ones left and daddy was the enemy gananforsh.” Sitting up and putting her hands on the armrest of her father’s throne and looking at her mother with her big green eyes wide with excitement. Zelda looked at her daughter with amazement. “Well that was certainly a feat running from the big bad Ganondorf.” Their mother said hugging her son closer. “Well now that you three are all hot and sweaty you can go and take baths before our guest arrive.” Link stood up and put his daughter onto the floor and picked up his son and put him on the ground next to his sister. He kissed his wife once more then led his children to their chambers to give them baths.
After their baths they headed back down to the throne room. Link had adorned a green velvet tunic with dagger sleeves over a white cotton longed sleeved undershirt, and brown breeches. Selene was in a blue dress with silver trim while Gerad was in a blue tunic like his fathers. Selene’s long blond hair was brushed and down. Gerad’s short blond hair was combed back. On the way they heard a crash and one of the servants squeal as a kid with white hair dashed out of a room and ran smack into Link. The kid fell back onto the floor with an “oof”. Link looked down at the white headed, red eyed kid that stared up at him with a horrified expression on his face. Link chuckled and reached down to help the kid up, “Young master Sheik you must be more careful where you plant your pranks.”
Sheik stood up with Link’s help but said nothing hanging his head down in shame of being found out. He was slightly taller then Gerad and much thinner. Link chuckled all the more at Sheik’s shame, “No need to worry Sheik I won’t tell Impa, as long as you behave yourself the rest of the day.” Link told him sternly. Sheik brightened at this and nodded his head eagerly. Gerad and Selene stared at this weird kid. Sheik noticed them and stuck out his hand, “Hi I’m Sheik and I’m twelve and I’m one of the Sheikhas. Who are you?” Gerad stepped out from behind his father and shook Sheik’s hand, “I’m Gerad. And this is Selene.” Selene curtsied. “I’m pleased to meet you.”
Link ushered them all in front of himself down the hallway, “Alright lets go, before your mother has my ears for being late.”
They made it to the throne room without any more adventures. The servants had been busy setting up the decorations for the event of Gerad and Selene’s tenth birthday. Gerad, Selene, and Sheik stopped in the middle of the throne room staring at all the guest arrayed in bright festive colors. Link headed up to the front where his wife was.
“There’s so many people here.” Selene said edging closer to Gerad. Gerad nodded and edged closer to Selene. “Yeah. Hey what do you think those are?” Sheik asked pointing to a group of Zoras as he edged closer to them both.
“Silly those are Zoras they’re the people who live in Zora’s Domain under Lake Hylia.” The three turned to see a red headed girl in a white dress standing by them. “Hi I’m Meria.” She said as she stuck out her hand to Selene. Selene shook it, “I’m Selene and this is Gerad and Sheik.” Selene said pointing to Gerad and Sheik. “I’m pleased to meet you all.” Meria said curtsying. “How do you know about the Zoras?” Sheik asked. “Aerica told me about them.” Meria said pointing to a small girl with dark green hair like the leaf of a tree and light green skin. Aerica noticed Meria pointing at her and came over at Meria’s beckoning. “This is Aerica.” Meria said as Aerica stopped by her side. Aerica inclined her head toward them as they said their names. On Aerica’s shoulder rested a small orange sphere of light. Aerica noticed them looking at it and smiled, she nudged the sphere with her finger and it fluttered its wings and rose up. When they got a better look at it they realized it was a tiny person, a tiny orange guy person. “This is Meko, my fairy.” Aerica said.
“Nice to meet you all. Anything interesting happen while I was asleep?” Meko asked stretching.
“Wow a real fairy, dad used to tell us stories about his adventures with Navi.” Gerad said edging closer to Meko. Meko floated backward a bit to keep them all in focus.
“Yeah all Kokorikoes are paired with a fairy when they become old enough.” Aerica explained.
“Why is your hair green?” Sheik asked bluntly. “Some of the Kokoriko are born with green hair. It’s part of living in the forest I guess.” Sheik raised his left eyebrow at this, “Ok if you say so.”
Aerica cocked her head to the left and said, “I do say so.” in a matter of fact tone. Sheik looked at her quizzically but she only smiled and turned to Selene and Meria. “Not the brightest is he love?” Meko stage whispered to Aerica. The other girls smiled as Sheik turned to Gerad for an answer.
“So how old are you, Aerica?” Selene asked her as the group moved to a side wall out of the way of the grownups. “I’m twelve.” Aerica replied. “And I’m eleven.” Meria put in. “But you’re the same height as me, I thought Kokorikoes didn’t get very tall.” Selene said.
Aerica smiled, “Normally that’s true but since the old Great Duku Tree’s death and the birth of the new one we have aged at a regular rate and will continue to age until the new Duku Tree reaches maturity and if he doesn’t want us to not grow up.”
“Oh.” Selene said nodding her head in understanding. The three of them became fast friends and started talking about girl stuff, Meria told Selene and Aerica of the life she had on the farm where she grew up and Aerica told them of her life in the forest. “Wow you two have such exciting homes mine seems so boring now.” Selene said after they were done. “Excuse us but may we join you guys?” a soft voice said somewhere behind Gerad. They turned to see a small Zora and a small Goron standing there looking at them. The Zora stuck out his hand to Gerad, “Greetings, my name is Lucius and this rock is Link.” Gerad looked puzzled, “No he isn’t; my dad is Link.” The rock shook its head, well body, “I was named after you’re father. Since my dad is friends with you’re dad he named me after him.”
Sheik laughed, “How bout we call him Goron Link?” Aerica shook her head and rolled her eyes at him.
“That is fine with me.” Goron Link said. The others agreed and continued talking about other things. They began a game of walking tag so as not to annoy the adults, even though this most likely annoyed them more seeing how they were used as pillars.
Link cleared his throat to try to get everyone’s attention. “Good day ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for attending my son and daughter’s tenth birthday, whom I seemed to have lost.” Link said chuckling as Gerad and Selene raced up the steps to stand by their mother. “Ah there you are.” Link said motioning for Gerad and Selene to stand by him. The other children had gone to stand with their parents. The herald called out some names of nobles that Selene and Gerad had no clue of who they were. The nobles came up one by one and shook hands with Link and bowed to Gerad and Selene who bowed and curtsied back. The Harold called out a name they recognized and Meria along with her mother and father came up the steps. “Malon, Geoffrey, and you must be little Meria.” Link said reaching down his hand to shake hers; Meria smiled and shook his hand. Her father smiled fondly at his daughter, as Malon spoke, "My dear friends, we have been fortunate this year, our cattle and horses have done wonderfully. Two colts have been born twins, and we offer them as birthday presents to the prince and princess." She and her family bowed to the royal family and moved off the dais. Link and Zelda thanked them as the herald called up more guests.
A few hours later the herald called a name that the children found interesting, "Lady Nabooru, leader of the Gurodo nation." a young woman stepped up to the dais and bowed to Link and Zelda. "My Lord" she said to Link, "Lady, we of the Gerudo Nation congratulate you on your children's tenth year of birth. I have someone I wish you to meet." She took a deep breath and stepped aside to reveal a young boy of thirteen years of age. Link and Zelda stared wide eyed at this boy and Nabooru hung her head. Gerad didn’t see his parents’ reaction and stepped forward to shake the boy’s hand, but his father pulled him back and stood in front of him with his sword drawn. Nabooru pulled the boy behind her and held up her hand as if to fend off a blow. “No Link, he is my son, even though I don’t know who the father is it doesn’t mean that it is Ganondorf.” She stared into Link’s eyes as they stood there. Link finally sheathed his sword back in its place by the throne and bowed to the young boy. “My apologies I thought you were someone else.” He held out his hand to the boy who still stared wide eyed around his mother’s leg, he gingerly put out his small hand and Link took it carefully and shook it slowly. “What is your name?” Those big amber eyes stared up at him and the boy replied “Dahrin, my name is Dahrin.”
"Well master Dahrin, welcome to Hyrule Castle this is my son Gerad and daughter Selene." Link said motioning his children forward. Gerad and Selene stood in front of the small boy; they bowed and then moved back behind their father, still not sure what had upset him. Nabooru and Dahrin moved off the dais and to the side with the rest of their group.
Link cleared his throat, "Now it is time for our gift," He motioned to some servants who arrived at the steps with two pillows. Zelda and Link took the presents off the pillows. The servants bowed and left. Zelda and Link turned around and placed a necklace each on Selene and Gerad. The necklaces were in the shapes of three small triangles. Two of Selene’s triangles were gold but the bottom right one was blue. And two of Gerad’s were gold except for the bottom left which was green. “Thank you, mommy and daddy.” Selene said giving them each a big hug. Gerad was silent studying his necklace. “What’s wrong Gerad?” Zelda asked.
Gerad looked up into her eyes, “Mom whose is the top one?”

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Last edited by Dreamer on March 18th, 2009, 8:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 16th, 2009, 4:37 pm 
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Paladin of the Night
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....Kinda long...

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 17th, 2009, 7:40 am 
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The Sunny Stormcloud
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yeah.....thats only the first two chapters and the prolog.......should i not post it at all? i don't wana take up too much space.

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 17th, 2009, 8:55 am 
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Magerator
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It's fine to post your work; but people nowadays aren't quite as fond of reading as they used to be, so it's best to post writing in small chunks. I'd say the prologue alone should be split up in to two chunks.


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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 17th, 2009, 11:09 am 
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The Sunny Stormcloud
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ok thanks ^_^

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 17th, 2009, 11:43 am 
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Lady Hitlar
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Concurred, I know I have a difficult time reading such long walls of text, personally. It could be the greatest story in the world, but my eyes just get tired...reading tiny, close-together text off of a computer screen for so long.

I mean, you can keep posting huge chunks of text--but it does discourage potential readers.
I just physically cannot focus on reading this, myself. And I feel kind of bad--because I love LoZ, and this would probably his a pleasing soft point with me. Haha!

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 23rd, 2009, 9:34 am 
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The Sunny Stormcloud
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first half of chapter one hope ya'll like :)

Chapter 1



Ten years later…


“Gerad?” Selene called over her shoulder from the room window. “Yeah?” Gerad answered from the adjacent room poking his head through the doorway. “They’re here.” By they, she meant their six childhood friends. “Well I’m glad that they are.” Gerad said coming into the room buttoning his shirt. “Selene, where did I put my boots?” Gerad asked looking around the room. “Why are you asking me? Your room is that way, they aren’t in here.” Selene said turning from the window and putting her second earring in. She was wearing a comfortable pair of pants that would never grace the doors of the throne room and a loose white shirt. Her long brown hair was in a bun. Gerad brushed his hand through his short brown hair. Their hair used to be bright blonde but had turned brown over the years. Selene sat on her bed and pulled on her riding boots. The necklace their parents had presented her at their tenth birthday dangled around her neck. Gerad snapped his fingers and ran into his room.
“Found them?” Selene called to him as a triumphant shout came from his room. Gerad came back holding up his black riding boots triumphantly. “Yes I found them.” He sat next to his sister and pulled on his boots. A knock came from the door and Selene said “Enter.” A guard poked his head around the door and announced that the delegates had arrived and were waiting in the eastern courtyard.
“Thank you.” They both got up and walked out of the room. Selene tucked the necklace back under her shirt. The guard fell into step behind them as they passed him coming into the hall. Compared to Gerad with his 6’ 5” height Selene was short at 5’ 5” but tall for most her age. Their rooms were in the west wing of the palace. They passed servants who were dusting and Gerad said hello and Selene smiled to them. The servants bowed and continued with their work. “Why are they all the way in the east courtyard?” Selene asked over her shoulder to the guard. “I don’t know your highness, I was only sent to tell you.” The guard replied with a bend at the waist. Selene looked forward again and fell silent.
Gerad and Selene made it to the eastern courtyard as the delegates were being served refreshments. “Hey what took you so long?” Sheik asked from the left bench. He was sitting with his left knee up under his chin like he always did, with his red eyes full of mischief. Meria was sitting next to him in her usual white loose shirt, ankle length orange skirt, and brown riding boots. “Well you did tell them to put us in this courtyard.” She said looking pointedly at Sheik. “Yes and you know good and well that they live in the other end.” Aerica piped in from beneath the oak tree off to the right. Meko floated circles around her chasing a bug.
“No not me you must have me confused with someone else, I definitely wouldn’t have done it.” Sheik replied oozing innocence.
“Uh-huh, liar.” Selene said sitting down on the other bench beside Dahrin.
“He was like that all the way over here.” G-Link said from the ground near the entrance. It was too confusing over the years to call Goron Link, Link, and too much of a mouthful for Goron Link, so they called him by a nickname G-Link. “You didn’t have to travel with him before we met up with the rest of you. You don’t want to know what I had to put up with.” Dahrin said.
“What? I didn’t do anything bad, just not entirely good.” Sheik replied trying to defend himself from the truth. Everyone laughed at Sheik’s discomfort. “So how have you all been since last we met two weeks ago?” Gerad asked from the wall he was leaning against next to G-Link. Lucius surfaced from under the water in the fountain. “Well everything is going smoothly at my home, the water’s up; fish are plentiful, nothing really happening.” He said putting his arms on the edge of the fountain. “Everything is fine at the farm, we had two colts born and another colt is due next month.” Meria said cocking her head a little to the left in a habit since childhood. “Everything is fine at Death Mountain, rocks are good, lava’s warm keeps it warm in our home, levels down so it’s all good.” G-Link said without raising his head. He was sitting in a position like a closed up box turtle. His voice was muffled but they could all understand him for he had his father’s voice. “Well everything is fine in Kokoriko Village, the cucu lady’s Cucues got out again.” Sheik said rolling his eyes. Cucues were a type of domesticated birds (like chickens). “And I’m sure you had nothing to do with that.” Aerica said. Everyone laughed, “No I had nothing to do with it this time.” Sheik replied.
“This time?” Gerad asked with a raised eyebrow, “So it was you who let them out the other twelve times?” Sheik looked up into the tree and said, “Well, maybe.”
Gerad shook his head. Selene laughed with the rest of them and Dahrin smiled. “Well the desert and sands are as hot as ever but that’s not uncommon, and I’m not the only boy anymore.” Dahrin said holding his hands up in triumph. The others congratulated him and asked who had had a son. “Well her name is Shelnock and she married a carpenter, and they had a son the beginning of this week.” Dahrin answered.
“But isn’t that forbidden or something?” Meria asked.
“Not anymore, my mother decided that if we don’t marry out then the Gerudos would eventually die out, so she banished the law.”
“Wow so you’re like the last pure blood Gerudo child.” Sheik said.
“Something like that, yeah.” Dahrin said.
“Well the forest is in full bloom, you all should come and see it before the end of spring.” Aerica said from a lower oak branch. She had climbed up into the tree to sit in the shade of the leaves. Meko was still chasing the bug and getting dizzier by the minute. He finally stopped and made his way to Aerica’s shoulder swaying all the way there.
“Well nothing of interest here. This is the highlight of the two weeks.” Selene said pulling a foot up under her knee. “So what should we do while our parents are conducting important business of country?” Sheik asked hopping up and into a handstand. “Well we could go riding.” Meria said from behind Selene and Dahrin. Meria had always “drifted”. She’d be in one place one second then in another the next. Meria didn’t know why and they all were too good of friends to care. “We won’t have time to get a good ride. The meeting will be over soon.” Selene replied standing up. “Well how ‘bout we head to the kitchens and discuss it on the way, because I’m starved.” Sheik said gracefully flipping up out of the handstand. “You always are so what’s new?” Lucius retorted stepping out of the fountain. Gerad poked G-Link, who had fallen asleep, with his toe. “What?” G-Link asked sitting up. “We’re heading to the kitchens.” Gerad replied straightening up. G-Link nodded and fell back down and started rolling towards the kitchens.

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 23rd, 2009, 4:45 pm 
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Paladin of the Night
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Interesting. And yah, that's a pretty good length to post at a time. :J :cool:

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 23rd, 2009, 5:03 pm 
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The Sunny Stormcloud
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lol kk ^_^

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 Post subject: Re: Descendants 2nd Gen.
PostPosted: March 23rd, 2009, 5:04 pm 
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Paladin of the Night
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It's good writing... just doesn't seem like the kind of story I would read... :chocolate: :pirate:

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