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I'm working on a story called The Eternity Hourglass and I've gotten quite far in planning it and characters etc but not written so much yet. Origionally it was a short novel for my english class but I decided to continue it and evolve it since I liked the idea. I didn't come far with it but now I have decided that I shall finish it this time but I would like your opinions on it and if the story sounds good enough to read. I hope this isn't too long for one post so you guys won't even bother finish it^^

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Many hundred years ago the human race were divided into a number of clans, the three largest, Satoshiin, Keayan and Vergannd had broken into a war because of Satoshiin claiming ruler ship over all humans. A young man from the Keayan clan, Eon, brought an end to all strives and united all clans to one with the help of friends and started the golden era. He would later be known as King Eon the peaceful.

During his regime he managed something no other human had ever done before, he befriended a golden dragon, the mightiest of dragons that lived among the mountain tops and never moved close to the ground except for hunting.

It is unknown what King Eon did to earn their high respect, but earn it he did.

The ruler of the golden dragons, El'Dorain, even gave his and his race loyalty to the royal family and would always answer the call of king Eons' descendants.

King Eon managed many things during his long life, healing what damage the war had done, making alliances with the other races' and stabilizing the turmoil among his own race. But eventually king Eon neared his death.

On the very day of his final breath King El'Dorain came to see his little human friend. He bestowed the king with a seal of peace on his forehead. That seal would later represent the kings’ bloodline.

Right before the kings final breath the dragon elder whispered to the king so low that it was more a low growl and King Eon died with a satisfied smile as the dragon took flight to return to his home. King Eon would for all times to come be referred to as the greatest king Eldora had ever seen.

None knows what the dragon said and it will so remain until a dragon speaks of it again.

Generations came and went and the peace carefully set up by king Eon remained. Until a descendant of his, king Zarac decided to take more than he should. He gathered his troops, both soldiers and wizards, and started a war so evil it is still remembered to this day, the great dragon slaughter.

The sheer wickedness in this deed made all the old races turn from the humans even though most humans disagreed with their king. In later history books the details isn't even written as the people of old didn't want to write it down.

Villages nearby the great mountain chain suffered when fire dragons raided their crops and cattle. The forest Xylia where the elves lived didn’t allow any humans to enter as the elves had broken all bonds. The deepest part of the forest became hostile and even the elves didn’t venture there, soon they named it Witold, meaning hard to reach in their language.

Also the merfolk became hostile, shunning the humans, especially the tribes near the capital city, Sky Megali.

But like always time went by, to the long lived inhabitants it was such a short time, but for the human race their ruler changed more than ten times. The latest king wanted back the time of old, where all beings lived in harmony, the time when king Eon ruled.

He started the hard work of trying to gather the broken pieces of past friendships.

Unfortunately the merfolk was a very stubborn and proud race with an ability to remember almost all of what they experienced. They would forever remember when the humans slaughtered their treasured friends the water dragons.

After a much hard work and dangerous tries the merfolk merely agreed to accept an offer of armistice. With a feeling of failure the now older king turned to the elves to offer his and his peoples sincerest apologies.

The elves took the offer better than the merfolk. Their king and his queen followed the way of their ancestors, but the past would never be fully forgotten.

Slaying dragons were to the elves, just as severe as killing their sacred animal, the aphras. But they were a peaceful race so they also accepted an armistice.

But it would take many generations until a full peace once again was forged.

The kings grandson, a prince called Tache went into his role as ruler with a passion, eagerly trying what his ancestor had before him. Trying to forge a new peace.

This time around the merfolk agreed to sign the peace treaty, but they still did behave rather roughly against humans, preferring to not interact as they used to, many centuries ago.

A thing that would prove crucial to the lands survival though, was when Tache got his treaty signed with the elves. It would grant him the help he needed to save his kingdom and family.

At the same time he was crowned king and took Mei’Zen as his wife, a wizard came to the country. He used list and charm to take place as a royal adviser and magician. On dark nights however, he worked on his sinister magic, experimenting and planning for his time on the throne, his dark heart yearning the power it would bestow him.

Then the time came when Zhu Hien used his own created minions and corrupted soldiers to overthrow the king.

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This is a short part about the origins of Eldora and how the land works. I have so much more but it would have to posted in many parts.

Eldora is an old country, it has survived many wars and inner turmoil as well as peace and prosperity. When the world itself were created, gods and spirits as well as dark spirits, or demons as they later would be called, came into existence, created by the life force flowing through the entire universe. The life force, called Zein, is made up from pure energy and awareness, it gives life and after the borrowed time is up the Zein takes the life energy back to once again be borrowed to another life in an endless cycle, all creatures is held alive by the same energy and life.
The spirits were all made out of different particles and they each were made to help the world, some like the spirits of seasons changed the nature as the years passed. Some spirits lived in the trees, the water, the air and so on. The dark spirits lived in shadows and preyed on the animals living in the world. The Zein also created a race to act as guardians for the land, the dragons. Four different species to keep balance, water, earth, fire and air.
The gods however found nothing to do in this new world that they found interesting so they used their powers to create models for new races but they lacked the power to bring them to life so they begged with the Zein and was heard, their creations was brought to life. Elves, humans and new animal species all found their home in Eldora.
Both elves, dragons and spirits were long lived, to the humans they seemed immortal but immortality is an unforgivable crime. No matter how long someone lives it will always die and return to the Zein but if someone would find a way to live forever the balance of life and death would be broken and the world thrown into chaos.
Everything created is meant to balance each other out. Water and fire, earth and air, light and dark, life and death.

Prologue

The normally so lively city was quiet and peaceful, resting under the white moon, preparing for another busy day. It's white stone reflected the moon light and almost shone by itself, the palace towered above the highest roof, impressive and breathtaking even at night, looked out over the city.

The silence was broken by the clopping of hooves and creaks of wood as a covered carriage hasted through the empty streets towards the city gates. Inside, a palace maid sat hushing a young girl to stop crying. “Mommy,” the child sniffled. “Shush milady. You can’t see your mother now." The old nanny rocked the child in her arms. "Careful prince!”

Rey left the opening at his nanny's warning and went back to his sister and nanny and sat down. “Where are we going Nana?” “To the elves my prince. You’ll be safe there,” The woman said and stroke the girl’s hair from her face, she had been taking care of the royal children since the prince was only a year old. And still the striking similarity between the two astonished her, the princess was five years younger but the siblings could almost be taken for twins.

“What about mother and father?” Rey asked a serious look in his grey eyes. “They have to take care of the kingdom my prince. You and milady will soon be called back to the palace.” A loud explosion disturbed the night, shaking the ground, frightening the horses and interrupted the prince in his question.

A soldier with a commoner cape hiding his armour opened the blanket to the carriage giving view of the palace. “Miss, the castle!” To add effect to his words red flames tainted the white palace walls, the silky black sky lightening up from the flames.

Rey’s eyes widened. “MOTHER! FATHER!” His scream startled his sister. The nanny grabbed a hold of Rey and pulled him to her chest, the princess was to young to fathom the danger but felt the others worry and started crying.

“Miss,” the same soldier said as the carriage quickly gained speed, bumping over the uneven cobble. “Zhu Hiens’ men are after us.” The blanket blew to the side by the wind and showed the palace gates open wide. The wizards’ henchmen rode like black shadows through the city after them.

The great white wall protecting the capital rose in front of them almost luminescent in the moon light, the big gates appeared like a black hole in the dull silver stone. The old woman felt a small amount of hope, if they just could reach outside the city they would have a greater chance at escaping.

But the sound of their pursuers got louder by the second.

Up ahead the gates were already being opened, the guards there had seen the palace lightening up in flames and seen the royal carriage come. The nanny took a breath in relief as they left the city behind, now she could see the forest Xylia like a black shadow in the horizon, the home of the elves where the prince and princess would be safe.

Then suddenly a soldier let out a short, cut off gasp followed by a thud; their pursuers had closed in. Another guard screamed out orders and the sound of bows being stringed and swords being drawn filled the cool night.

Rey sat close to his nanny and sister but didn’t utter a word, determined to act like a man. His sister whimpered quietly calmed by Nanas’ soothing lullaby. The young prince could the soft melody by heart since the time he was little. But this night the calming tune didn’t work its magic, Reys’ heart shrunk at the thought of his parents’ back in their home and their own fate in this carriage.

The battle cries died down a little as the horses dragged the carriage further away from the battle, maybe, just maybe would they make it to the forest.

Then the carriage stopped with a jerk, the horses whinnied and reared at the sudden stop. The woman looked outside right in time to see a soldier fall, a knife in his chest. Quickly she grabbed the prince hand and jumped down from the carriage hoping the dark would cloak them from the hunters view.

“Here, hold your sister,” she whispered and handed Rey the small girl. With an effort she grabbed a fallen soldiers sword and cut of the reins separating the carriage from the horses. “My prince,” The woman lifted the prince up on the horses’ back and then heaved herself up behind him. Grabbing the mane, her arms around the boy she urged the gelding forward.

But before they could get far the woman cried out in pain her body jerked forward and she tumbled down from the horse, unintentionally dragging the children with her, an arrow protruding from her shoulder. The horse, scared by the noise and smell of blood stroke back its ears and reared away from the people in front of him, then galloping away from the sounds back to the stables.

A large soldier roughly grabbed the prince, throwing him over his shoulder ignoring Reys’ kicks and screams, but in his hurry and the darkness of night he missed the princess the nanny hid with her own body.

With determination the woman dragged herself up ignoring the pain and lifted the girl limping away from the men towards the other horse closer to the carriage. She knew that in this pain she wouldn’t be able to sit up on a horse without help. Safely at the horse she used the carriage as a help getting on the last horse.

Cradling the young princess in her arms she drove the horse into a swift gallop praying she wouldn’t get hit by another arrow. Behind her she heard screams and arrows being released. She had been seen. She urged the horse to go faster, curling herself together to make her hard to hit.

But above all other sounds she could hear Rey scream in protest of his abduction.

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The horse had slowed to a tired gait, moving as it pleased as the woman just managed to hold herself and the princess on the geldings back. They had reached quite a bit into Xylia but still couldn’t see any sign of life. The old nanny hoped to reach the elves soon or else she feared the little girl to be alone.

“Nana, are you feeling well?” The princess asked trying to hide a sniffle, her nanny had behaved so strangely since those men took her brother away. “I’m fine Milady, just tired.” The princess had calmed down after the attack but still continually asked the old woman about her health, feeling that something was wrong.

The woman worried about the horse too he was tired, his head hanging low, sweat making his fur darker. They all needed water and rest and they desperately needed to find the elves. The elven queen also needed to hear what had happened to the royal family.

Just then the horse shied gently as several tall shades stepped out before them, a few carrying lanterns. “We didn’t expect you to come this way,” One said and pulled back the hooded cloak. His face was young and elegant with cascades of golden hair falling down his back, a quite elegant and slender physique but with a deep voice.

“I beg your forgiveness Milord, there have been complications.” The woman said, her voice dry, her voice full off pain. “The palace is overtaken by Zhu Hien, the royal family I do not now about but I fear the worst. We thought we had more time, but his attack came swifter than we ever could believe. We were attacked on our way here and the prince was taken, only the princess and I managed to escape.” Now when they had reached safety her will power alone wasn’t enough to keep her wounded body up and she fell of the horse.

“Nana!” The lead elf quickly bowed by the woman’s side. “She has only fainted princess,” He said to the girl. To his men he spoke in elfish to not let the girl hear. “She will not survive for long without help, maybe not at all. Eryn, take her on the horse and ride to Tancilia ahead of us, we will catch up.”

The blonde stepped over to the horse and bowed to the princess, “May I carry you princess, so that we can get your nanny to our healer quickly?” The girl nodded shyly letting the elf lift her of the horse. The red headed Eryn gently lifted up the woman on the horse and easily sat up behind her. The tired horse fell into a trot after a few encouraging words in elfish and quickly disappeared into the forest.

The rest of the elves also headed back to their capital, the leader walking ahead with the girl in his arms. “Where is Nana going?” “Eryn is taking her to the healers in our city,” He answered. The elves walked quickly but still spoke quietly in their own language behind their leader unhindered by the speed.

It took half an hour to reach the elven city Tancilia on foot, the girl continuously asked the leader everything about everything she saw in between her yawns, yet she was too scared to fall asleep. And he patently answered all her questions. “We are getting near princess,” the elf said and motioned forward to a pair of weeping willows. “Those mark the edge of Tancilias’ border.”

The willows were so old that the branches reached the ground, creating an enclosed space underneath. Walking beneath them was like being inside a house. In awe the princess stared at the trees, they were as thick as the marble pillars in her home.

“Now princess, we are in our capital.” The girl stared but couldn’t see anything but oddly shaped trees. “But there are no houses here, where do you live?” The elf chuckled and shifted his grip on the girl and pointed with his now free hand. “It lays right in front of us princess you just have to see it.” Not until they got closer did the girl see the city.

It was in the trees.

The whole city rested in the thickest trees, bridges connecting trees with other trees and elegant stairs led to the ground. It was hard to spot because the trees still lived and grew around the houses, hiding them from view.

“We have killed none of the trees to build our cities, we have merely built them around the stern.” The young princess was speechless for awhile, trying to see the whole city at once. “You know princess it is rumoured that the ryuukai’s also built their cities in the tree tops but that they can speak with nature.”

“Speak with nature? Really?!” Her grey eyes widened in question. “Yes, which is why it is said that they are able to make the trees grow as they want, even to the degree that it is possible to live inside one.” “I want to see it.” The princess said excitedly and smiled. “I am afraid that will be highly unlikely princess. Although we do have a peace treaty with the ryuukai’s we haven’t met with one of them for a hundred years. But look, we have reached the queens’ tree.”

The elf stopped in front of a very old and very high grown oak, high above lights streamed out from the bark itself it seemed. But as he carried the princess up the stairs swindling up around the tree she saw it was just very similar to the bark.

They reached the door way and entered, inside a tall young woman caught the small princess eye. Elegant and slender with a flow of golden hair down to her knees, her sea coloured eyes had a gentle look but under that a sharp intelligence and a strong will could be seen.

“Welcome little princess, I have anxiously awaited your safe arrival.” Her voce was soft and gentle but full of confidence. “You must be tired, get some sleep so will we discuss what have taken place this unfortunate night tomorrow. Raven.” The queen directed the last part to the elf. “Of course. Come princess, I will take you to your room.”

The girl was almost asleep when they arrived at the tree that had been reserved for the human guests. “Wake up princess we are already at your tree.” The princess blinked tiredly and stared at the room, her eyes started filling with fresh tears. “I don’t want to sleep alone,” she sniffed. “I miss Nana and Rey.”

“There, there princess it is all right.” Raven soothed, stroking her hair. “I will stay with you till you fall a sleep,” He said and pulled back the covers and put her down on the soft bed. She started dozing off quickly as Raven put the covers over her, just as sleep overcame her she shyly grabbed the elf’s hand, hers so tiny it vanished in Ravens.

Bump.

I noticed how long it was but I would really appreciate if someone took their time reading it.

I've read the prologue and its very good, I want to know what happens next!

The whole chapter is too long to be put in at once and I'm not certain where to end it either so here's the first part of chapter 1.

Chapter 1 - Part 1

Darkness surrounded her as a thick cover, only a dim light straight ahead gleamed faintly through the black surroundings. She ran towards it, a feeling of great hurry in her heart, it tore at her pushing her forward. Soon a figure started to take shape in the light.

Confused the girl looked at a boy version of herself as young. He had jet black hair just long enough to be bound back by a leather strap and bangs that fell slightly over his brow, grey eyes with splotches of icy blue seemed to call her forward. They were filled with pain and sadness but also a great deal of determination.

She ran faster but she never seemed to get closer than she was, no matter how she struggled she never got closer. Then the light and the boy moved away first slow but then faster and faster. She screamed for it to stop and tried to run after the boy. The urge to reach him was so strong it took over her mind.

The light was now small as a door, then as a window, then a small square until it vanished completely leaving her in the dark. With the light gone the ground under her vanished and she fell.

-

Yumi awoke with a sharp gasp bolting upright on her sleeping felt. Her heart beat so hard it echoed in her ears almost deafening her, this wasn’t the first dream she had. They were all the same too.

Sighing she stroke a hand over her eyes forcing herself to calm down and then she looked around the camp, Misaio slept peacefully not disturbed by her scream. Looking at the sky she estimated the time to be early morning, soon time to get up anyways so instead of going to sleep again Yumi rose up quietly and took the cauldron and fetched water from a nearby stream.

When she got back she immediately started boiling the water and took out some herbs to make tea of. Her teacher started getting old and Yumi wanted to make it easier for her stiff joints and the old woman’s health.

As the water boiled Yumi added the herbs and let it boil and then just as Misaio woke up she filled a cup with tea. “Ye up already Yumi,” Misaio said and sat up gratefully accepting the mug with tea. “Yes I woke up early today.” The woman laughed. “Well that’s a new one for sure, usually I have to drag ye up from bed.”

Despite these eleven years with the priestess Yumi hadn’t taken all too much influence from the woman’s way of speech. But often it was less formal than usual. She also trusted her wise caretaker with her life and she wanted to ask her about her dream but she also had a strong feeling that she shouldn’t talk too much about herself, Yumi could not recall why that feeling was so strong but she followed it.

“Well Yumi, today we have to reach Beryl b'fore dark, on the way we’ll go over archery again.” Yumi sighed inwardly, her teacher was strict but fair, and she never quit until you had learned it right.

Yumi had a talent for archery though and Misaio used to call her ‘child of the bow’ sometimes, that was also what her full name meant but that was something Misaio didn't know about. She still believed Yumi’s nickname to be her full name. After eating some apples and dried meat they packed together their few things and started their journey west.

Both had a quiver on the back and bow in hand, loosely held but still ready to be used. They had been to the small mountain villages to the east and were now heading towards the capital again. But first they needed to reach the river village Beryl and from there cross the great plain to reach Brooke. From there it wasn’t awfully far to the capital city of Eldora, Sky Megali.

Yumi had never been there, the capital had its own temple so Misaio deemed it more important to travel around to villages all over Eldora instead. There were other priestesses and healers working this way too but they didn’t meet one so often.

Under the day Misaio questioned Yumi about the archery items, styles and the best way to defend and attack. Around noon time they made a quick stop for a meal but soon set out again, now that they were sure to reach the village in time their pace slowed slightly.

As the sun set they reached the outskirts of Beryl, the villagers outside gathered as the priestesses neared the first huts, the commotion caused the men and women inside to come out and soon all the village was gathered to great the holy women. “Lady Misaio, Lady Yumi we 'ave awaited yer safe arrival.” The elder said and bowed with the rest of the village, “the demon ‘ave been very hard on us lately, 'tis killing our cattle an' attacking us.”

“Don’t worry we’ll take care of it,” Misaio said after she and Yumi had replied the gesture that was widely used as a greeting. Laying down their weapons and holding out their open hands to show that they meant no harm.

The villagers pointed out a field it usually appeared in then stayed in the village while the two priestesses stringed their bows and walked over to the field. “Do you feel that Yumi?” “Yes, it’s a shadow demon, one with average strength.” “Very good child,” Misaio said as they both prepared to let out their holy energy. “To yer left.”