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First couple of paragraphs: Oh no! a vampire!
Next one: oh right, a bad angel... darn.
Final paragraph:
Shit!(please excuse) lucifer is the Devil... Aluna's in deep!

well that isn't good. at least for her anyway! that is awesome! cliffhangers rule! especially when something extremely evil is about to happen.

oh yeah i found maximum ride the other day. seems pretty good. but i'm so deppressed cuz' darren shan ended the demonata in a way that screws you real good. ie. he ended it in a way that made there be no point in even reading it! mmmph!
and sorry to those who are still reading the series for spoiling it! i'm just Very annoyed.

This is an interesting story. I think that there seems to be a lack of proof reading. If you proof read, do it twice, once right after you write, and another after a break, you can catch more mistakes that way.

Wolven: I never got past book five T_T of the Demonata books anyways....*sniffle* I won't read it all the way now, lol. And you'll see! These two and another char that i'll be introducing will be very big chars, hehehe. And you'll just have to see with Lucifer..

Dragonictoni: Thank you ^^ I will be going through them again and proof reading them. I know that i have horrible grammer lol! ^ ^

im really sorry for spoiling the demonata , by all means they're good until the last book. don't read it! pretend it never happened . anyways i cant Wait for the next chapters! i'm so phsyched

Chapter 8


Aluna’s eye cracked open softly, looking easily through the darkness of her room. What had woke her up? Instinctively, she knew that it was around midnight. She never woke up before 6 AM unless -

There was a bright flash in the room and she hissed, pulling up a blanket to shadow herself. There was a soft glow as a figure stepped through the portal. She peeked to see who it was and her silver eyes turned pure white in hatred.

Amonsulo. He was here. In her apartment. In front of her.

He stood easily 6’6 with flowing white hair that fell to the middle of his back, tied at the nape of his neck in a leather thong. He was cleanly dressed and rather modern as well. He had on a pair of black slacks and a Versace suit. He left it unbuttoned and wide opened without an under shirt. His pale, perfectly sculpted chest was easy to see. It was glowing and appeared as if dusted heavily in gold powder. Huge, pure white wings fanned from his back, taking up the length of the room

The entity roared to life within her. Fangs exploded in her mouth painfully and her hair stated to flow in lengthening cords or shadowy wisps as she instinctively started to take the form her entity gave her. Her true form. Her nostrils flared furiously and she flexed fingers with two inch long talons tipping them. Now wasn’t the time to kill him, not yet, but her entity didn’t understand that. “Get the hell out of here,” she hissed, her glowing eyes watching him like a predator would watch prey.

He ignored her comment as he examined her walls. There were all spray painted in vivid, angry images of hellish demons, thorn covered roses, and her most popular amongst her friends, the many variations of wings. He pushed a can with the tip of his expensive loafers, watching it roll into the collection of other bottles and cans. “A little personalized, don’t you think?” He questioned aloofly.

“Suck it,” She hissed again, trying to move away from the Seraphim glow that his body gave off. It was painful for her with the entity influence on full force. “What the hell do you want?”

“You refused your punishment for breaking out law and you disobeyed a direct order to not leave that Fallen’s house.” His voice was tainted with accusation. He shifted his wings before his silver eyes pierced through her. He curled a lip. “Is this what came of you? You’re disgusting. You’re a beast, look at yourself, housing that thing within your body. You know, if you had only given it up, I would have let you Rise centuries ago.”

Her snake-like tongue slithered out, mocking him. “You just want my powers to yourself. It’s what you’ve always wanted, to be the most powerful. I could kill you right here and now if I wanted to, but I’m not going to waste my time.” She jerked back with a hiss when he held an alit hand near her skin.

“Yet it is you that shrinks away from my touch,” He smirked. “You think that I’m afraid of you. The notion is so ridiculous that I just want to laugh, but you aren’t even worth of that. I’m going to warn you only once; you ever disobey again, I’ll see to it that I, myself, rip those black frickin’ wings from that pretty little back of yours.” His eyes held malice in them. Whoever said that angels were pure were absolutely wrong. “You were right, all Angels keep their wings. You’re no angel, you’re a beast, a thing, you hardly even exist. You’re simply a puppet for your entity to get what he wants.”

Aluna suddenly started to laugh. The blankets flew off her nearly naked body. She was covered in scars from Zarion’s betrayal against her and offering her up as a sacrifice for his effort for power. There were other scars too, tracks on her arms and legs and little dots from cigarettes being grinded into her skin. “I promise you, you could never get my wings. I are you to try,” She taunted him, fanning her own wings and fluttering them lightly to further piss him off.

The shadows of the room wrapped around her viciously and shied from the holy glow of Amonsulo’s body.

He hissed, pulling away from the shadows that grappled against his light…and were winning. His palm opened and he had a ball of Seraphim light. He smirked in triumph as her shadows retreated.

However, when Aluna started to laugh, her voice being echoed by the entity’s his smile faded. Her tendrils that snaked around the room pressed forward and forward, wrapping around his ankles and licking his skin tauntingly. His glow started to be absorbed by the tentacles.

With another violent hiss that tore through the air, he tore the dimension open with another portal, stepping halfway into it. He turned to glare at her. “You will die, Aluna, and I will have your Seraphim powers. There’s another Fallen here in town now, we relocated him. Do your best to not kill this one, you’re good at it.” He vanished into the portal and it vanished with a painful and blinding flash of light.

Aluna kept laughing with her entity, who didn’t mind that Amonsulo wasn’t dead. His hasty, fear filled retreat was well worth waiting for his actual death.

Chapter 9

Aluna’s victory was short lived. She was on edge and her entity wasn’t going back into it’s dormant stage. It usually stuck around for a little bit after she called on their shared powers, but then it would go right back into the farthest corners of her mind.

She scowled as she gave her eye its dark outline with a thickly tipped eyeliner pencil. She was almost twitching, like she was having a huge adrenaline rush that just wouldn’t go away. It was like when she tried crack for the first time, only without the high and free fall like feeling.

Aluna’s wings crackled and they were nearly double their usual size. She swallowed, trying to keep her hand steady while she smeared on eye shadow. Black and then a hot pink outline. She hated pink, but it matched her style very well and focused attention on her freaky eyes. Black lipstick accented her nearly translucent skin.

Aluna cursed as her shaking hand screwed up her eye shadow again. With a curse, she fixed the mistake and attempted the eye shadow again, finally succeeding. “What the hell is wrong with me?” She growled as she turned her attention to her hair. A little bit of gel and some fluffing later, her hair was perfect, showing off her uneven layers.

Stepping out of the scum covered bathroom, she easily navigated through her house. She didn’t want to live like this, but she didn’t have much of a choice. It was one of the punishments that she had received from the Seraphim back in the early twentieth century. She had felt sorry for the mortal women of the time (as well as getting a little pissed herself at being treated like dirt for so many centuries by men) and gave a little encouragement to a few humans to start the suffrage parties. Not to mention she…persuaded Wilson to take another look at their reasoning.

Interfering with a mortals free-will was a no-no. Angels, Fallen especially and Seraphim only on extreme measures, were to never mess with humans’ right to act on their own.

However, when they punished her, they thought that they had removed that ability from her and it was just easier to let them believe that they did.

Right as she was about to exit the apartment to go buy a coffee at the nearest Big B’s, her phones ring tone went off, filling her apartment with her favorite song. Cautious, because only a few choice people had her number, she checked the caller ID. Restricted. With a growl, she answered it. “What?” She growled into the phone, starting to pace. She couldn’t seem to hold herself still.

“Well, you’re friendly,” said a southern drawled voice. “I was just a ringin’ to see I’m working with, but’chu got up on the wrong side of the bed this mornin’.” He drawled on, scorning her. “If you would be a tad more friendly, maybe I wouldn’t hear such shit about you.”

Aluna was shocked into silence for a moment. What the hell? She instantly bristled, her wings crackling angrily. “I don’t know who the hell you are-”

“Gabe,” he offered her in a mockingly helpful voice.

“Gabe, I don’t know how you got my number, but if you don’t hang up in the next five seconds, I’m gonna-”

“Oh, Amonsulo gave it to me. He said that I should get to know ya’ll since we’ll be working together now for the next few decades.” He was grinning, she could hear it in his voice.

She paused again. “You’re the new Fallen here?” She couldn’t believe that Amonsulo would send her a hillbilly…on that note, she took that back. She could believe he would do that. “What the hell?”

“Hey, don’t take that tone with me. Ya’ll know Atlantis? My fault she’s snoozing on the ocean floor. ‘Accidentally’ played around with a Princess and sank the darlin’. Rather exciting though, I’d do it again! She was well worth it.” Again, she could hear the grin in his voice, and the pride of his actions.

“You tapped a Princess’s ass and it sunk an entire advanced civilization?” She asked in disbelief. She couldn’t believe this was happening, who the hell was this angel?

“That’sma story and I’m stickin’ to it!” He seriously sounded proud of his crime.

Aluna was seriously baffled by this new Angel. Why would Amonsulo give her a Fallen like this? She would much rather have the usual Fallen that hated her guts! “What the fu-”

“A lot of things, sweetheart, a lot of things. Tell ya what, you come down to the ice cream parlor where Amonsulo dropped me off and bring me some clothes. The bastard took mine when he portal led me here, stupid homo. Alright, see you in a few!” There was a beep as the line went dead. He hung up on her.

Aluna couldn’t believe this. She instantly hit the redial button, but the line came up busy. She couldn’t call his number because he had listed it as restricted. Pissed, she threw her phone into the wall, grabbed her black studded handbag and walked for the door. She snatched her cell phone first and then left the apartment, cussing like a furious sailor.

((Just a little comic relief for everyone))

((A little more comic relief))

More sexual infering warnings and maybe offending dialogue

Chapter 10

Aluna stepped out of her car angrily, an armful of clothes pressed tightly to her chest. Her boiling mercury eyes darted to and fro. They spied a pay phone in front of the ice cream parlor and her jaw dropped. He couldn’t have possibly used it…not when he didn’t have any clothes and the pay phone was right out in the middle of the sidewalk where everyone could’ve seen him….

Aluna shook her head. She was going to kill this Angel, completely beat in his skull to see if there was any brains there. Not putting anything past Gabe, she peeked into the window of the parlor, and she thanked whoever listened to a Fallen that there was only one bored looking cashier inside. Satisfied, she wandered into the deep alley to the right f the building.

The city was a fairly large one. It wasn’t like New York City, or even Detroit, but it was still large enough for it’s own streets of slums, complete with drug dealers, thieves, gangsters and maybe molesters or rapists. A city with a large crime rate attracted the most incubi, demons, and even ghouls. Thus, why there was a need for two Fallen to monitor the city and not the usual one.

The darkness wrapped around her tightly as she slunk through the alley, searching for the Fallen delinquent. Typical trashcans lined the sides of the brick walls and then a huge dumpster that took up most of the path. She spied a used condom on the ground beside the dumpster.

Aluna was about to move on past the dumpster when there was a loud bang against the rushing metal. Aluna leapt away from it, startled. She stared at the opening, waiting and anticipating for maybe a mugger to jump out at her.

Instead, what she got was the head of a long blond haired boy with bright, innocent appearing silver eyes and sweet, boyish features and creamy, perfect skin. “Took ya’ll long enough!” Huge white wings with black streaks rushing through them snapped up from the inside of the dumpster.

Aluna thought that maybe he did have a little dignity since he was hiding in a dumpster, not the Angels should ever be shy with their bodies. It wasn’t bragging, simple fact that Angels were perfection in the flesh. There was no defects or impurities on an angel unless it was inflicted. “Be glad I even grabbed any for you, you ungrateful ass wipe! I don’t even know you and here I am wasting away my morning fetching a noob like you clothes! I don’t take orders from anyone, but I didn’t want to see your naked ass,” She snapped angrily, her enormous, black wings flaring.

When she offered the clothes, he shook his head. “Well, ya’ll are gonna see my naked ass and a little friend of mine if you don’t look away in time. Cuz ya’ll are insane if you think that I’m purring on clean clothes in a dumpster.” Just like that, with only that little warning, he easily sprung out of the dumpster (smelling impeccably clean and nice despite where he had been) and landed softly in the little space right in front of her, impossibly bold.

Aluna’s first instinct was to look away. However, she didn’t want to give him anything to feed off of. “What?” She growled, raising her eyebrows. “Am I supposed to be impressed? I’ve seen bigger, now quit being a god damn fool and put on the clothes so I don’t go blind and can get on with my day.” She whipped the bundle at him and a pair of converse.

“Oh hun, you ain’t seen nothin’. It’s quality, not quantity, but I have both,” he purred. He trailed a hand over the bundle of clothes and shows and they instantly changed to his size. He sorted through the items, raising his eyebrows at her personal choice. “What kind of guys do you have up here? These are not pants…they’re tights. Denim made tights.” He held up the offending skinny jeans.

Aluna smirked at her first victory since meeting the Angel. “Enjoy,” she purred with poison in her voice. Of course, since she didn’t want to choose between boxers or briefs, she just didn’t buy any. Skinny jeans and commando just didn’t go together. Very easy to catch the zipper on something.

He frowned, but shrugged. “I’ll try anything once. Oh, and how did you know I went commando?”

Her smile vanished. Damn. “I was hoping that that zipper there would make you impotent,” she growled.

Gabe grinned. “No chance of that, babe.” He wiggled into the jeans, using the dumpster for support as he struggled. To Aluna’s disappointment, the zipper didn’t catch on anything. He finished dressing himself and looked at her with a pout. “You made me look gay!” He whined, pulling at the black shirt with bright neon splotches splattered over the surface. Not to mention the rainbow checkerboard converse on his feet. “This ain’t right, I look like a girl!”

Aluna gave him a cruel smiles. “No you don’t.”

He perked up hopefully.

“You definitely look like a fag,” She finished with satisfaction.

His smile faded. “You ain’t right.”

Aluna took a step closer to him. As much as she didn’t like this Fallen, there was something comforting about his couldn’t-give-a-shit personality. Not only that, but there was more to him than a whinny southern boy. Normal Fallen didn’t have black streaks through their white wings. He had done something other than pop a Princess’s cherry. That didn’t sink islands. She was going to find out what he had truly done.

Not to mention that he was the hottest Angel she had ever seen. He as so adorable that he was delectable. But Aluna convinced herself that she didn’t care about any of that. She wasn’t sharing her body with anyone, especially not for a good lay (which he was definitely be) and she didn’t have a heart to give to anyone either. It died a long time ago.

“Hullo, are you listening to me? His hand waved in front of her face. “You’re ignoring me and I don’t like it.” He was pouting again.

Aluna curled her lip into a rather vicious smile and snapped her fingers. Loops, two in his left ear, one in his right ear, appeared. Now his looks were completed and he could blend in with her crowd. “There, now you’ll almost fit in with my friends.” She spun on her heels and left him in the alley as he freaked out over his new additions.

its quite good. i'm gonna bet that when she tries to find her friends she's gonna notice something really strange.
cant wait for updates.

((You're going to all love this chapter. Not even kidding i think that it'll drive you insane. Quality, not quanity here, it's short, but even i think that it's great.))

Chapter 11


“You should buy me a caramel mocha,” Gabe told her, poking her shoulder. “Please?”

She ignored him as the cashier handed her back change. He vanished into the back to bring her morning fix. “Buy your own, I already bought you clothes with my own money and I didn’t leave you in that alley to find your own way around the city. You should be damn grateful!” She pushed him away, tapping her foot. She still couldn’t hold still, she was hoping that a dose of caffeine would help.

“Thank you,” He breathed softly onto the back of her neck. His voice was warm, like liquid honey and his breath washed over her skin. He was directly behind her, his fingers playing with the wisps of her wings. For once, he seemed older. Man like. Seductive.

His closeness to her made her uneasy, as well as how her body was reacting. She turned around to push him back and wound up face t face with him. His face was only a couple meager inches away from her own, their noses about to touch. Her hands shot to his chest to shove him away, but his hands captured hers with a smile. He brought her knuckles to his lips, nipped them gently and released them. He stepped away. “Don’t worry, I know you aren’t interested. A damn shame though.” He turned and left the little Big B’s store and climbed back into her car.

Aluna realized she was holding her breath. She finally exhaled and leaned back, blinking. She had almost let that happen. She looked out the window, watching the curious Fallen as he turned on her car stereo and Godsmack’s Sick of Life instantly blasted him.

What happened? Things like that never bothered her, or got to her. Some mortals came on to her…maybe that was it, she decided. Mortals are inferior so it’s easy to say no. She hadn’t been around a male Fallen in centuries, she had only worked with females and only occasionally came across a male. Mimz was the only one that liked her and only a tiny handful could tolerate her.

She collected her coffee, agreeing with her hypothesis. It was only because she hadn’t bee around any Fallen males that didn’t want to kill her. Gabe was a horny dog to start with and she didn’t need that kind of influence.

She pulled open the car door and got into the car…and realized that country music was poisoning her ears. “Hey!” She snapped angrily, slapping Gabe’s sly hands away from her stereo. “Don’t ever touch the radio! I will cut off your hands and shove them up your ass before I ever let you mess with my music!” She jabbed the CD that had been partially ejected back into the stereo, instantly cutting off the crap that had been filling her ears. She calmed a little when Godsmack started her lullaby.

“I was only seeing what was on that radio. I can’t even hear myself think with this stuff you call music playing,” he told her sheepishly. “It’s going to make you go deaf.”

“Angels don’t go deaf, or at least Seraphim don’t. You’re shit outta luck, I guess, cuz I’m not turning it off.” She told him decisively. In fact, finally putting down her coffee, she cranked up the volume so she couldn’t hear him complaining about how unhealthy the music was.

“It’s good for your soul,” She screamed happily over the lead singer. Her hand grabbed the stick and threw them in reverse before they skidded out of the small parking lot.

They flew through the city, hading back towards the heavy slums of the city. Her homemade CD jumped between artists, sometimes it would play Godsmack, other times Disturbed, and even Slipknot and Evenasense.

Gabe sat in a stubborn silence, fingers plugged his ears as he refused to listen to the ‘gin that was going to poison her mind’. Aluna couldn’t stop herself from sneaking looks over at him. She was impossibly drawn to him and seriously, she really wanted him out of the very clothes she had dressed him in. To kiss and nibble on his pulse and sink her teeth into his throat -

She suddenly jerked the wheel as she snapped herself abruptly back into reality. They hit and went over the side walk curb. She jerked the wheel the oppisite direction, throwing the car back into the road, but into oncoming traffic.

Gabe screamed in alarm as Aluna stared in shock at a huge 16 wheel semi drove straight for them. She tried to jerk the wheel in the opposite direction, but it was stuck, refusing to budge under the harshest of strengths. She desperately slammed both feet onto her brakes, but it was useless. The brakes were somehow broke and the car simply kept gaining speed towards the huge truck. She tried the emergency brake, but like the steering wheel, it also was stuck.

She looked up, staring straight into the face of the human in the semi truck, who also couldn’t get their vehicle to slow down in the slightest. She saw the mortification on his face.

The oncoming disaster literally threw itself into slow motion and Aluna watched it unravel. The grill of the truck contacting her car, watching the metal crunch and shatter, pieces flying. The engine combusted spontaneously, the flames slowly dancing their way up and threw the front seats of the car.

Gabe screamed and his wings flared, wrapping around him instantly. He couldn’t open a portal in time to save them and neither could she. She threw her hands up and she shot a huge blast at the truck as a last resort, but it was too late. The glass shattered and sliced through her skin, silver blood splattering. Aluna even screamed as she realized that it was too late. The car exploded around them before the rest of the car was smashed by the truck at over 60 miles per hour.

dear god... what the hell is wrong with her?
That seems to be the end of it unless you can mash up something to continue it... like what happened in the bad ending of star wars the force unleashed. death star partially explodes, starkiller put back together like a cyborg... weird.
but then again, angels are like impossible to kill so... yeah you'll find a way.