Macabre living, with flesh half eaten off the bone
Seems oh to sullen at the moment.
Maybe its the way my life was lived?
Corrupt? Not just? and vile?
Have I not at least retried my second chance?
Surly not to blame the world or misfortune,
My own flesh and blood that's scatted
Here and there, are there because of me.
Its all my fault I'm here right now,
But who's to judge, who's to rectify? not me.
None, there's none to judge, and trust myself I shan't,
Because nobody knows me, like myself.
And know, I know myself, or at least I think I do.
I think I know myself.
I start to question even that of which one should be sure of.
Who is me, I don't know. I wish I had an answer.
I do not know what happened to my mind
And have no clue as where to start.
Although a preeminence
Of a gloomy end I feel.
I feel it in my marrow, I feel the want to rest.
I want some peace from busy life
From sullen misery
I want some peace
I want some quite
I want some rest from eyes above
Too much I want,
That cant be given by a mortal man.
Some quick and silent judgment
By an angel or a demon
In my sleep would be the best.
Surly God wont push for such a favor?
Be it cowardly, I don't care.
I don't care
No not anymore
I don't want this memory
In minds of people that I know
No mourning and no sorrow.
No seroms, nothing but a sigh.
Some say its cowardly
And in truth, it might be
Am I afraid?
Yes, its true, I am
I'm afraid, so thus wish
I wish, to see this end.
I'm tired of myself,
and every conscious moment burns.
It burns like hell.
My flesh is raw from fires lashes.
So so sullen in this mindset.
My flesh no longer feels
My eyes no longer see
My ears no longer hear
I fail to recognize the beauty of the world
It seems to see that this green world
Is now all gray and bleak.
The trees are broken, dried up stick.
The leaves are dust beneath my feet.
The air is still and the grass is deadened.
I wish I could put a blame upon someone.
Life is easier that way.
I want to blame my life for misery.
But that's not true as well.
No one to blame, Ill blame myself
I blame myself for life,
this sullen living,
and this feeling.
I tried to be, I tried
I'm tired of trying now
I'm tired and I do not care
I hope i wont be missed
I hope ill go unnoticed
The time is raw
My mind is broke
Time is only of the matter.