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I'm working on a novel at the moment. I've put together a book summary for it, please tell me what you think of it.

Blood…
I tasted it… I felt it as it slipped down my dry throat and as it began to quench my thirst. It tasted of metallic and had a slight rust edge. The smell filled my nostrils; it was the same rusty scent I had smelt before.
In a seemingly drunk-like state, I was unable to force myself to stop, what bad could just one more drop do? Apparently more than a lot. I was becoming addicted, I couldn’t even try to pull away; I was still thirsty… But how much more blood did Emily have running through her veins?
Finally I found the strength and tore myself away from her. With a few drops of dark red slipping down my chin, I watched as she fell. Her eyes were closed and her pale face bore a stunned expression.
I began to back away… What have I become – A monster, a blood-sucking maniac?
My heart was beating out of control and its loud thudding pierced my ears. What will everyone think? What will become of me?
But there was no time to think of that, right now I had to run, before anyone caught me… Was I a murderer? No, I knew what I was.

My name is James Tailsworth, I attend Raven Street High in year nine and I am a vampire.

James, a fifteen year old boy has a fairly normal life; he has friends, boring and strict teachers, a mother and father, a home, and not much excitement and drama. But this was until he chose to take a different route home once he realized a group of tough jocks were hanging around the usual path he took. He soon regrets taking another route as he trips and his hand draws blood. A strange figure soon steps towards him, a pair of fangs beared. Until this point James never really believed in vampires…

Through anguish, deceit, love and possible death, James must learn to live, not as a human, but as blood-sucking, forsaken creature - a vampire.

This is great dude. Not bad at all. I've actually got chills at this. im betting that ur gonna do really well. Note: You have a fan already... so keep me posted!

Thanks, I appreciate the feeback. I'll be posting the prologue and the first chapter in a few days time.

I've decided to call the novel I've been working on 'Blood Stain'. The book summary I put together was only to give a general idea of the book. Here's the prologue. Please post what you thought of it.

Prologue

Under a dark night sky where thousands of stars gathered, a woman wearing a black silky dress ran with greater speed than any human’s. Her long blond curls flew around her as she made her way through the polluted and dirty streets of Call City. Her pale face was eerily beautiful and her eyes shone almost bright red.
Through deserted alley ways and narrow streets she ran. The loud beating of her heart rang through her ears and for once in her life she had become tired. Her legs were hurting with every step – she could run no more.
“Fancy that, one of the finest vampires in Call City becoming tired. No, this can’t be true.” The voice half sounded sarcastic and it belonged to a tall man walking a little behind her. His face was white as snow and his eyes were a dark glinting red. He took off his black top hat, showing his dark spiked-up hair and smirked at her dismayed expression. He wore an expensive looking suit and a small brooch in the shape of a bat. “Now how did this happen I wonder.”
“It was your stupid so-called tonic, you idiot!” The woman spat his feet, but his smirk did not fall.
“No name calling works on me, Madam Iris.”
“Don’t you dare call me that pathetic name!”
“I guess you prefer your blood name. Well, I’m sorry but you gave that one away when you abandoned the blood council,” The man took out a strange looking stamp from his pocket as he spoke.
Madam Iris fixed him with an intense glare. The man took her hand and pressed down the stamp onto her almost colourless skin. She cried out as her hand was marked and a small sizzling sound filled her ears. This was the way outlaws were punished – branded by a mysterious stamp-like device.
“Every vampire who comes across you will surely kill you. It’s my job to inform you that the blood council gives out no second chances. Good day, Madam Iris,” The man snarled out the last few words and left the woman standing in the street alone.

i like the prologue, it's got that scary air to it. it also reminds me a bit of my own book, "wolven" (Not published... or finished). but nonetheless, it is very good and i look forward to future updates. Also, i am curious if there are going to be other night-dwellers in this novel. say for example: spectres or Were-wolves. might there be any of them in it as well as the vampires?

At this point I'm not sure if I'm going to have more than just vampires. But it is something I can consider. Thankyou for the feeback, I will be posting the first chapter as soon as I can get it finished, which should be soon enough.

I've finally finished the first chapter. This chapter has kind of become like an extra prologue, but this was the only way I could work out how to write it. In the next chapter the story really begins and goes into the main character's point of view. Hope you enjoy it, please post what you thought of it and any feeback you have for it.


Chapter One
The Beginning and End of a Life

As the days past, she waited, crouching between a narrow gap which separated two rubbish bins from each other. It was only a few days into winter, and already the whole of Call City was drowned in constant rain storms.
Madam Iris wasn’t sure how much longer it would take a Fate-Breaker to find her, but she was sure she wouldn’t be able to survive the next few days without any source of food. She hadn’t drunk any blood since two weeks ago, and she was starting to starve.
Lilac-Amber had been her blood name when she had become a member of the blood council. But when she had left the council after becoming an outlaw, she could no longer be known as Lilac-Amber.
Rose-Emily, her twin sister had told her that she was going to Call City where she could introduce her to the other outlaws, but that had been weeks ago. Madam Iris was beginning to suspect that a Fate-Breaker had found her twin sister.
Fate-Breakers were tough, impolite and skilled vampires who were employed to hunt down vampire outlaws by the mysterious blood council. They usually only socialised with other Fate-Breakers, but even then, not many of them socialised with each other, they often preferred being on their own. This was because most other vampires feared them and didn’t want to be associated with them.
Madam Iris blinked in a puzzled state as a familiar scent filled her nostrils. It was the smell of blood. She wasn’t use to existing in a human inhabited place. The constant scent of blood was enough to drive her insane. She couldn’t move away and track the scent since she would draw to much attention to herself and possibly be found by a Fate-Breaker.
Madam Iris froze as she watched a human pass her and the two rubbish bins. Once again the scent of blood filled her nostrils and before she could even think she jumped out from the two bins and drew her fangs.
In moments she felt her fangs sink into the human’s flesh and the blood which oozed out from the deep puncture wounds in his neck. She tasted the metallic flavoured substance and breathed in its rusty scent as it slipped down her throat. Madam Iris was so thirsty that she gulped down the blood mercilessly.
At first the boy tried to push her away in terror, but soon his life began to slip away. His arms fell to his sides, weak and tired. Then all too soon his knees gave way and he fell to the hard, brick covered ground below, barely conscious.
Madam Iris wiped the blood from her face with her sleeve and eyed the boy carefully. His brown eyes with half open and glassy, and it seemed as if he wasn’t seeing his surrounding but a completely different place. His hair was dark brown and messy, and his school clothes had a few stains of blood. Two small punctures marked his neck and the blood was still flowing.
Madam Iris quickly looked around her, trying to see if anyone was watching. The place was mainly deserted, but a girl was peering from behind one of the brick walls which stood on both sides of the alleyway. It was obvious to her that this girl was a vampire and immediately she could tell that this vampire had been employed by the blood council, since she was sure she had seen her around their headquarters. But that was when she realized what job that girl had been given.
“Fate-Sealer,” She murmured and spat at the ground in disgust.
There was nothing that a Fate-Sealer could do to her, only mark her with a stupid stamp like devise, but even then she couldn’t do that either, since Madam Iris had already been marked. A Fate-Sealer was a waste of a job; all they did was mark outlaws to make it easier for Fate-Breakers to find them.
Madam Iris turned away from the girl and looked down at the boy. He most likely couldn’t hear a word she was saying, so she snarled out her words, “Your life’s done with, boy – Your human life anyway!”
A sinister smile spread across her face and she walked past the boy. She didn’t really know where she was heading, all she knew was that she had to find her twin and find out if anything had happened to her before she got caught by a Fate-Breaker. And with this attack being found out by a Fate-Sealer, the blood council would be sending millions of vampires after her, so she would have to hurry.
For a moment she thought of the boy, what would become him? But he was a lost cause now – his human life was over, and soon he would be lost in the blood stained world of the blood council.

Jeese, what a way to let go. i'm loving this, however there is still a large amount of explaining required in this, however i suspect that it will all be explained later in your novel. this has an insane amount of potential, so keep writing this book, and if anyone at school etc. tries to put you down about it, IGNORE them. you are an amazing author and i expect a lot from you. I look forward to your future updates.

Thankyou very much for the feeback. I haven't had a lot of time to work on the next chapter, but I am expecting to have it finished in a few weeks or so. In the next chapter the main character will finally be introduced into the book and the story will really begin.

I will be posting the second chapter in two parts, since it will be too much to read when in just one post.
Here is part one of Chapter Two. Please post any feeback you have for it.

Chapter Two
The Undreamt Nightmare

Death... It was a subject I rarely thought of, or rather tried not to think of. But as my vision began to close in and death crept up towards me, it was a subject that I couldn’t help but think about.
An eerie coldness swept through my whole body and I began to shiver. My skin was clammy and I could hardly remember how I wound up in this horrid situation. It had all happened too fast for me, and I could hardly understand what had really happened.
My mind was freezing up and all I could think of was death and what was going to happen to me. This was the end I knew it! I would never see my family or friends ever again, and I would never leave high school and get out of Call City, all I would be was dead!
“You’re going to okay...”
The soft voice tunnelled through my ears and I couldn’t even process the words. All I knew was that the voice belonged to a girl, a girl I did not know, and that they were lying. How could I be okay? Was dying okay?

My eyes fluttered open and a few rays of golden sunlight came down to meet me. I was in my room back at my home with my family... I was alive.
I sat up in bed, a little confused and looked around my small room. The walls were coloured a light cream colour, and a pair of white curtains hung neatly over the only window in the room. The only furnishings were a single bed, a bright coloured desk with a small laptop, and an old looking wooden wardrobe.
I wondered if it had all been a dream, a strange horrible nightmare. I sighed with relief and glanced at the black and white clock hanging from the wall beside my bed. I nearly cried out as I realized that it was a school morning and there were only minutes left until school began.
I dashed out of bed threw on the black and red school uniform. I slipped on some socks and shoes as I stumbled out of the room.
My mother and father would have left for work already, so I wouldn’t be able to be dropped off before they drove off to work. But this meant I was in more of a rush.
I sprinted into the kitchen, grabbed some food from one of the cupboards, and quickly stuffed it into my school bag. Throwing the bag over my shoulder I ran to the front door and pulled it open. I slammed the door behind me and stared down at my hand. The door handle had broken off! As strange as it was, I chucked it aside; I didn’t have time for this.
As I tried not to think about the bizarre dream I had dreamt and the broken door handle, I ran as fast as I could towards Call City High. The school was only three blocks away from my home, but the closer I got towards it, the more people I had to dodge as I ran. Crowds of black and red walked down the streets towards Call City High as the loud school bell filled the air. There was no doubt about it, I was late and I was going to receive a detention.

I took a deep breath before opening the door. Mrs Strengths was my first teacher; she was known to be strict and irritated all the time. As I walked inside the classroom every head turned to look at me. Mrs Strengths was at the front of the class, writing on the white board with a marker.
“Sit down, James, I will speak with you after class,” she spoke the words firmly, but I was grateful that she hadn’t yelled at me for being late.
I looked around the room for a place I could sit, and found Alex waving at me from across the room. I noticed there was an empty chair beside her, so I walked over and place my books onto the desk. I sat down and began taking down the notes off the white board like everyone else.
Alex was my best friend, she was the same age as me, 15, and she had light brown hair which she tied up in pony tails. She had bright green eyes and was fairly short.
“Why were you late today?” Alex whispered, not being able to stay quiet for more than a few seconds.
“I over slept,” I replied.
“Alright,” I could tell Alex didn’t quiet believe me from the tone of voice she used, but I tried to ignore it. Alex continued writing down notes for a bit, thinking that I would tell her some other reason for why I was late, but that didn’t long. She could never stay quiet for too long, she was too much of a chatter box.
“What happened to you yesterday? You told me you would meet me at the school lockers before you left for home.” Alex asked me.
I stopped writing down the notes and tried to think, what had happened? I had wanted to go across the road to buy something, but I couldn’t remember anything after that.
I knew Alex wouldn’t believe me if I had told her I couldn’t remember, so I lied about it, “I must have forgotten about it, why did you need me anyway?”
“Just forget about it.”
Alex went back to her notes, and I could tell she was upset. I waited for her to snap out of it and start talking again, but she didn’t. I went back to my notes, and tried to forget about her. Sometimes she could be really confusing and frustrating. I didn’t know what to expect next with her.
The school bell boomed through a speaker on one of the class walls and everyone started packing up their books and leaving. Mrs Strengths came up to me as I gathered up my books.
“James, this is the fifth time you have arrived late to class. I’m giving you a detention on tomorrow lunch time, but if you arrive late to my class again, I will be calling your parents. You may leave now.”
I headed towards the door and rolled my eyes. As if I would care if she called my parents, they wouldn’t ever be there to answer the phone, so it wouldn’t make any difference. I walked out into the year nine corridor which was crowded with students rushing around and I began heading towards my next class which was only a few steps away.
When I entered the classroom most of my classmates were already seated. Alex was sitting with someone else, so I sat down next to a friend of mine, Alan. He was a mischief loving kind of guy, and had recently been caught vandalising a police car. As long as you never agree to being involved in all the many crimes he has committed, he makes an all right friend.
Mr Henry, my science teacher after telling the class to be quiet, told us to come up to the front of the class and collect one of each of the materials laid out on the teacher’s desk.
I stood up from my chair and suddenly felt dizzy and weak. My head began to spin and I tried to grab hold of something. I gripped onto the desk before me, to try to steady myself. But it didn’t help once my grip tightened and a piece of the desk snapped off! I stared for a few seconds in deep confusion. But all too soon I felt myself briefly falling towards the carpeted ground, and than black.