Cheers, guys! Thanks for the input :] <33
That night—was the worst.
The blood itched in my veins, my muscles felt like they had been mashed, my stomach was unbearably turbulent, and I ran a high fever. I tossed and turned in an uncomfortable fit—with the empty hope that one position would offer more comfort than the others. I felt trapped inside a body that was trying to kill me—and miserably, I wished with every bit of my being that I could claw my way out of it.
Sleep wasn't even a possibility—until I felt a hand on my forehead.
“Not feeling so well, are you.” Averil's voice broke through the hurt that clouded my head and I looked up at her as if she were my savior.
Oh god, it was so good—to not be alone. With her help, I pulled myself up into her embrace and focused as much as I could on her touch.
“Your sleepless nights are my sleepless nights, Tu. I can't ignore your whimpering, even from my room upstairs.” Gently, she rocked back and forth, running her fingers through my hair before asking with heightened concern, “Have you been itching? Your arm's all raw here.”
She over turned my wrist to get a closer look at my forearm.
“It's—the worst,” I replied—my voice shivered with defeated frustration, “I don't know what it is, but it won't stop. It itches on the inside—I can't scratch it away.”
She rubbed my arm, “I know it's hard, but you have to try not to scratch it, okay? It just going to hurt.”
I shut my eyes and without thought or care, buried my face into her chest out of restlessness, “I want to give up.”
“No you don't,” she countered, “you're doing alright.” She kissed my head and I tighten my grip on her.
Maybe it was just a channeling of frustration—but I wanted more than anything to feel her squeeze back as hard as she could. Perhaps I just wanted to feel something other than pain.
But she handled me delicately, “What do you think it would take for you to fall asleep?”
I shook my head, “I don't even know. I just hurt—so much.”
“Does it help to have me here?”
I nodded, “lots.”
She let out a soft hum, “is it better if I stop talking?”
“Please don't,” I begged, “Just—” I shut my eyes, “sing.”
Averil exhaled a laugh, “Alright, I can do that for you.”
There was a pause as she figured out what exactly to sing—but when she began, her voice was soft, quiet, and caressed my senses like silk. I let it take me over.
I don't remember how I fell asleep—but as I held onto her, I managed to fall into a shallow slumber.
Sleep didn't last long as my discomfort woke me up a few minutes before five. I drew in a deep breath and exhaled a pained groan. Half asleep, it took a while for me to notice Averil's arm draped over my side from behind me, her hand resting limp against my chest.
Not wanting to wake her, I tried to force myself from squirming too much—but it was almost impossible for me to stay still.
Slowly, carefully, I tried to roll over to my other side without causing too much disturbance—and found myself face to face with her. Her eyebrows were slightly raised, her lips were parted only slightly, and locks of her blond hair fell carelessly across her face, spilling down across the pillow her head rested on.
In that moment, I couldn't figure out why the feeling of physical pain seemed to take a backseat to a strange euphoria—and breathing became slightly more difficult as my chest seemed to constrict me. At the same time, I hardly cared. She didn't even flinch as I carefully pulled the hair away from her face. She was up late with me last night—and there was no doubt exhaustion had taken her out pretty well.
It was the weirdest thought to me—that I could have been perfectly content with watching her sleep for hours. It was so unusual—and I couldn't quite understand it.
I figured—maybe I was just in a strange mood...
My breath caught in my throat as she drew in a sudden, deep breath and arched her back in a stretch. When her eyes opened, I was the first thing she saw.
She immediately gasped and instinctively pushed away from me, “Oh jeez, I fell asleep—I should get back to my room. What time is it?”
“Just past five,” I replied, “and it's fine, you being here—it's nice.”
I felt a pang of urgency as she sat up—and had half the mind to pull her back down.
“No, no—I know. It's just weird to sleep in the...” She looked back down at me, “How are you feeling?”
“I'm alright.” I replied honestly, “but—sick.”
“It does seem to worsen for you at night.” She yawned, “And my god, I'm tired.”
“Me too,” I empathized.
She favored me with a smile, “I don't even want to think how you feel,” her brow pressed with sympathy, “I can't wait for this week to be over—we're on day three... Almost there. We'll have a celebration when you're feeling back on top again.”
“Honestly, I can't imagine feeling 'on top' any time soon,” I frowned, “this is—a lot. A lot. It's hard to shoulder.”
She tilted her head side to side in uncertainty, “I guess we just have to trust statistics. But hey, this time yesterday morning, you could hardly hold a conversation. Which must mean you're already on the way back up, right?”
I only shrugged, “Here's hoping. It goes up and down it seems...”
She pulled herself out of the bed, “Did it really help at all—to have me there last night?”
I paused to think of the best reply, “If it were up to me, you wouldn't leave.”
She smirked, “well, I'm happy I can offer at least a little comfort with all the torment I'm dragging you through.” She lingered in the doorway to ask, “Do you think you can hold down some breakfast? Maybe something light—like toast?”
In my current state, I would have been happier just to stay in bed all day wallowing in her comfort—but I only nodded in reply.
I felt so—odd.
Sorry if updates slow down a bit. I'm working full time and taking spring college classes part time at the moment.
Makes for a perpetually exhausted Mana.