heather [Profile] 2013/3/15 - 19:7:18
Must resist Temptation... the evil consumes, binds you to its will, leaves you blind to the truth and slowly devours your souls away...bit by bit you vanish into a souless monster.. but you like it...you love the power...it drives your lust..your insanity...your need for power.
ok so alot of things i wish i hadnt have done:
i could have made the eyes better, positioned the ears broader, fixed the corner of his mouth cuz its really bothering me, and chose a better background.
Ok yea so its Lucky, i really need to brush up on my cat drawing skills, cuz they suck...
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/15 - 19:36:21
The need for power is possibly the least interesting motive of them all - if there is no motivation BEHIND that need for power. Especially if we're talking about mental health being secondary - sanity isn't to be discarded so easily !
A character would have to be already on the brink for very good reasons or would have to be so focused on the goal for which power is amassed that mental health is secondary. Otherwise it's quite, quite flat. Antiheroes are generally complex characters...
brownwolfcub [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 3:8:37
I like your method of drawing, being able to just draw the lines out is pretty impressive.
And as always love the eye glow. :)
moo492 [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 7:8:53
I like to draw cats a lot, so I may be able to help you a bit.
For starters, I love how you drew the 3/4ish view, especially around the nose. It's quite tricky, in my opinion.
When you say, 'position the ears broader' I'm not sure what you mean by that. Unless you're going for the Lion King style of ears, I would stay away from large ears. Black panthers usually have smaller ears, as seen in this picture here, [link]
Also, I know when you look at jaguars or panthers that they have very smooth, thick fur, Even so, I find drawing a bit of fur into your line art, or shading a bit of fur onto the cat does help.
As for the teeth, I would say look off of lots of references, it really does help. Cats usually have larger canine teeth, and smaller molars behind. [link]
I hope it's okay I gave you a bit of constructive criticism. You didn't say you wanted any specifically, but you said you needed to work on your cat drawing skills.
Really, I think you're improving a ton in drawing cats! Every picture of Lucky I see you draw seems to get better and better each time.
Keep up the good work! :)
heather [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 13:25:4
I know no one has read my book but Tayu there is things driving him mad, first of all Chaos is getting inside his head telling him he is meant for something greater than just a gaurdian and showing him what he could have if he just leaves Hayley and comes with her.
Each and every day that he spends listining to chaos the more he is tempted to stand beside her.
After all Hayley isn't offering him anything worth while....
Once Lucky got in too deep, a great evil ensued and then his place turned from Angel to Demon.
His bower pushes further than just fire and poison, rage corrupts him and he is able to strike fear (the red stripes in the picture) into any soul he desires.
By the way when he becomes evil his appearnce changes....
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 17:57:23
So basically he's being a jerk and dumping his girlfriend because the evil seductress has a better offer ? ... I hope he had good reasons for even listening in the first place - because that just sounds like bad corporate takeover; ''Come to dark side, we have cookies.'' I understand he's your hero ? I hope Lucky Skywalker has more things going for him than that.
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 18:2:37
Unless Lucky is just the boyfriend of your main female character, and she has to win him back because he's mind-controlled. Although that's a very plot device...
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 18:7:52
Woops, forgot a word - that's a lot of posts...
Anyway... That's a very used plot device. * Is what I was saying.
heather [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 18:14:14
no, he is the protector of the main charcter (which is human) and the bad guy so to speak Wants her black dragon form for evil intentions.
The bad guy's protector is also of his race but she is the last of her kind aside from Lucky, and tries tempting him to her cause.
All in all i really dont know what i'm going to do with the story, i've re-written it twice and now i'm thinking about doing it again.
but why with the bad attitude? seriously?
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 18:33:54
I'm not having a bad attitude - I'm actually quite light-hearted here. It's just you seem to contradict yourself about his character so it gets confusing what his story role is. So. He's the protector of your main character, that makes him a supporting ''hero'' character. So far you're making him look more like an antagonist.
But you say he's being driven crazy by the secondary antagonist - who is driving him insane by tempting him with visions of greater glories. I'm still wondering why that's driving him crazy - or why he's even listening. But okay, I can probably get this ''hey we're the last two of our specie on earth, let's have kittens and rebuild our race'' as her motive.
What's his motive ?
Hayley is a human who can transform into a black dragon, if I got that right ?
And the primary evil guy wants that. Lucky's job is to protect her. She doesn't give him any special fulfillment, so he's unsatisfied with his job, is what you are saying ?
There just seems to be missing information that you should give some thought to.
heather [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 19:0:8
yes thats what im saying, but i cant really do anything that someone hasnt already done because alot of people tend to go off of the ideas of others.
since you dont understand my story i can see where youre coming from, i dont like to give my stuff away, i just give out bits and pieces. even to me it seems confusing but im trying to make it as complex as i can while still coming up with my own ideas.
Though Lucky is confused and concerned of which path he should take he is being pushed under pressure and torn into two by his owner and his crush. If he kills Chaos then he will have no chance for his race to continue. but if he leaves Hayley behind then he leaves the world open to distruction.
heather [Profile] 2013/3/16 - 19:19:7
Chaos' motive is to make him fall into temptation, she could care less about thier race she just wants to be recoginized as superior to her master, who also could care less about her, she just wants her service.
Lucky wants to rebuild the race but also wants to protect Hayley from her, he just wants to be happy and have a family, but Chaos' mind tricks are bending his will and taking over his mind, he isn't himself anymore, but Hayley doesnt know that...
Does that help any?
[anon]miles 2013/3/16 - 19:51:3
...you haven't seen anything yet if you think that's "bad attitude" for tayu F3
i like the indecisiveness you've got going on with your story. there are two really compelling forces that are influencing Lucky's decision making that seem quite thought out, so good job on that.
i understand it's difficult coming up with unique ideas, and i go through the same problem a lot of the time, but i would try to steer clear of cliché ideals like heroes being driven to complete madness from an exterior force while being forced to choose between a love interest and saving their race.
while it is an interesting concept, be careful not to use madness as an excuse/plot device/main factor because it's unbelievable and really overused (take shakespeare for example.. ever heard of king lear? read that if you want to hear an exhausted use of madness).
also i agree that there seems to be a bit of contradiction here -- though that's probably just because we're missing a lot of the story =w= i would encourage you to draw out a diagram of what happens so you can have it planned out in front of you, that way i think it would be easier to keep track of. and be sure to post once you've written it! i'm interested.
moo gave some really great criticism. i can't think of anything else to add to that, so really she got everything spot on =w=
i'm digging the details on the muzzle especially, and the way the greens and reds blend into each other is pretty neat. i'm not too sure what the white lightning-looking thingies are in the background but they kind of look a little detached from the rest of the background? if that's what you were going for then awesome, but otherwise i would try blend it in a little more =w=
wolven [Profile] 2013/3/17 - 10:2:4
Okay I'm gonna see if i can help you out here Heather. I forget who it was that said it but "No piece of writing is completely original."
Basically, it doesn't matter if you take a bit of this or that from films, dramas or other pieces of writing. Don't waste your time thinking about the plot of a story, instead focus on your writing style and getting every last one of your ideas down on paper. who cares if it doesn't make much sense to begin with?
Fair enough, evil antagonist in Lucky's head is trying to corrupt him with lure of power. Stick with the idea, because once you start messing with the mind, all sorts of things can happen. Leave the particulars of motives and stuff to a later date if you must. Your writing and ideas will grow as you do yourself. Thus, the reasons for the lure of power etc. will come to you, as do all ideas a writer has. I may not be the best at explaining these sorta things, but just write your story and focus on your writing style.
Btw Miles, I love that book. (King Lear) I think my fav characters in it would be Edmund and the Fool. but the theme of madness is indeed quite widespread in it.
tayuyaxn [Profile] 2013/3/17 - 11:30:23
I wasn't saying this had to be unique - I was going in the same direction as Miles : It was more a friendly suggestion to avoid overused themes - or if that's really what you want, then you should think about how to steer it away from clichés.
Madness is very hard to do - it's something complex and DIFFICULT to write. If you don't have a handle on the subject it will be unrealistic and most likely WILL put off your readers ! Of course, while writing, every subject should be known well enough to write about it - but anything touching the mind is, I think, a whole new level. It should be used cautiously.
I believe, contrary to what Wolven said, that these kind of ''particulars'' such as motives, circumstances, all the ''hows'' and ''whys'' and all the little details are very important to make a good story - even when you're just drafting. It might surprise you how thinking through these details will just bring you more writing material.
And sometimes it's best to elaborate certain aspects before starting the writing just to be sure - ''can I write this, can I do it or is it something that doesn't come naturally to me'' and it will be much less frustrating than starting to write it then realizing this doesn't work for you.
Although while making an outline is generally ''the way to go'', sometimes detailed outlines are just more frustrating than anything else - like it's all pre-planned and it may just not... be right. It's still a good idea to have some kind of notes lying around - a vague timeline, for example.
Of course a character doesn't have to be created entirely at once - they frequently take lives of their own and elaborate themselves while you aren't looking, living at the back of your head. But still, try to make sure you have key characteristics are down - while in your case his changes may reflect physically, I'm talking about his personality.